Shallow

The lead song sums up the movie well.  The lyrics alone are enough to make you gag, much less the two of them singing it on the curb of a convenience store parking lot.  Bradley Cooper tried to bring the 1976 version of the classic story down to a guttural level but it only makes you feel like you have been left in the gutter after an all-night drinking binge.

For all the angst over whether Lady Gaga could pull off the role of Abby, it was Cooper who seemed out of his element in this movie.   He plays this role with a kind of morose sentimentality that has become the staple of Clint Eastwood movies, to whom he seems to owe a debt of gratitude for ceding the directorial duties to him.  Clint had other fish to fry.

This turgid affair starts in the most unlikely of places, a drag bar in LA where Ally sings along side her drag friends, putting on an Edith Piaf imitation that makes it look like she is in drag herself.  If Cooper had his usual sense of humor, he might have played this latest version of the film as Victor/Victoria, but the drag queens were just a way to show what a great sport Jackson Maine is, unlike the irascible John Howard from the earlier version.  Even when Jackson gets angry later in the film, he comes off as a grumbly teddy bear, profusely apologizing afterward.  You might call it a #MeToo version of A Star is Born.

Then there is all the two-bit philosophizing from Jackson and his much older brother, Bobby, that gets tedious to say the least.  The two were apparently a country-western duet at one point before Jackson broke out into rockabilly and became a big name.  Bobby is left to pick up behind his younger brother, dispensing all kinds of profound sentiments as one has come to expect from Sam Elliot.

Gaga comes from humbler origins.  Her father, played by Andrew Dice Clay of all people, is a chauffeur who imagined himself as Tony Bennett in his younger days and pushes his reluctant daughter to take Jackson up on his offer to attend one of his concerts.  Later, he plays back her surprise cameo stage appearance on youtube to his chauffeur buddies, which has gotten millions of hits, and hence a star is born.

The movie no doubt plays well to 13-year-old girls aspiring to similar youtube fame.  It isn't long before Gaga finds herself approached by a big name producer who wants to turn her into the next Beyonce.  There is some irony here, as this was the path Gaga took herself before opting for a more bare-bones approach to her music, but the irony is fleeting.  After all, this would sail over most young viewers' heads.

Oddly enough, I took my daughter to a Lady Gaga concert.  My little one was 11 at the time and we painted ourselves up like Gaga's little monsters for the show.  I was pleasantly surprised by how good it was.  If only some of that same energy had been brought to this movie.  Instead, Cooper oddly gushes over Gaga's nose, making her into some kind of little girl who needs approval, which she begrudgingly accepts.  Barbra would have never allowed herself to be treated this way.

When Jackson comes to the end of his turgid winding road, one only gets a sense of relief in that the movie is nearly over, but not before big brother Bobby has a few wise words to impart on us, telling us that all music is contained within 12 notes between any octave and all an artist can offer the world is how he sees those notes.  Wow!

Gaga pays her farewell to Jackson on stage, singing a song he had penned before he died, much like Barbra sang Kris's song at the end of their movie.   Unfortunately there is no emotional resonance because there had never been anything that really connected them in the movie.  They were just two passing ships in the night.

The story behind the movie is what seems to be selling it.  Bradley Cooper took a big gamble on Lady Gaga and it paid off.  Surprise!  Surprise!  No doubt he will join her to sing Shallow at the Oscars.  If he doesn't there will be a lot of disappointed 13 year-old girls out there.