Watching the Simpsons episode in which Homer gets a hair transplant, makes me wonder if all of Donald's meanness and vindictiveness is in his hair piece? Like so much of our current political landscape, the Simpsons appeared to have predicted it so long ago. This particular episode came from a 1998 Treehouse of Horror Trilogy.
Trump's hair has been the subject of much ridicule even before he took office, but at 74 it appears to have taken on a life of its own. The unnaturally orange mane has either been grown into a massive comb-over or is a toupee grafted from an orangutan. It appears to be the former judging from his wind-blown moments. At times, you think it is going to fly right off him, yet the thin strands hang on for dear life.
The oddest part is how he went from dark hair to orange hair, as one can see in this illustrated history of Trump's hair. It's only around 2000 that he let the orange show, or that's the way it came out when he tried to dye his graying hair. "Burnt-Cheetos Auburn," someone called it. Never one to admit failure, he embraced the orange hair, even with the obvious gray roots, letting it fade toward a flaxen color over the years as if to give it a more natural look. Since the coronavirus breakout, he has gone with a dovish gray.
Perhaps he is trying to project himself as Moses, after an epiphany with the burning bush? This is the way many religious conservatives see him, so he has embraced the image given to us by Charlton Heston in the Ten Commandments, but without the beard. Unfortunately, he doesn't appear to have garnered any wisdom from the experience, still spouting the same feeble jokes and merciless digs at his critics and political opponents.
We have been given a rare inside look at what goes on at his security briefings by Miles Taylor, who said in a recent CNN interview that Trump only looked at the papers if they had illustrations on them. The DHS staff learned that if they wanted to appeal to Trump the best way was to use graphics, since he doesn't have any patience to read anything other than his twitter feeds. They all apparently questioned his acumen, but few were willing to say anything directly to him, except former Secretary of State Tillerson, who called him a "fucking moron" at one point.
Yet, his devoted following continues to hang on every word he says, as if these word salads were coming from up high. Maybe it is the hair that casts this magic spell over them? They are blinded by it, and think he is babbling in some ancient language unique between God and him? His hair itself is the burning bush!
According to Miles and many others, we should all fear retribution if he doesn't win re-election. Trump has made it abundantly clear that there will be hell toupee if the elections don't turn out his way. He is going to great lengths to make mail-in voting more difficult so that people are forced to wait in long lines at polling stations across the country, as we saw in primaries in Georgia and Wisconsin. His hair is the price of vanity, not usually associated with angels from above, but with demons from below.
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