It really is hard to figure out what is going on in America these days. It no longer feels like the land of the free or home of the brave, but rather a country on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Over what I'm not exactly sure, but I read all the worry of my American friends on facebook. Oddly enough, it's not my conservative friends posting on Trump, but rather my liberal friends. They can't let him go. I suppose it comes from him being able to get off scot-free for the January 6 insurrection. Many other high crimes and misdemeanors that could be leveled against him too, but it seems the justice department is not overly anxious to go after him. I suppose they are trying to build a compelling case against him as it is pretty hard to find a courtroom these days where the deck isn't stacked against the prosecution. Just look at this kid in Kenosha, who literally got away with shooting two persons dead with an unregistered AR-15 assault rifle. I try not to think about it too much and talk as little about Trump as possible. My wife can't stand it when I do.
The sad part is that I've lost any compelling desire to visit the United States much less return to it. I did try back in 2004 when our oldest daughter applied for a student-exchange program and I went to help her settle in with a Seattle family and attend one of the local high schools. Her initial school in the Spokane area didn't work out. She was scared to death of all the guns in the area. Her host family warned her against going out at night, they only seemed to want her as an au pair to their small children. Seattle proved much better. I connected with the local Lithuanian-American community, found a very pleasant host family for Goda, and was soon engaged in a reading group with them every Thursday. Very pleasant community.
However, my job search didn't go so well. I was 43 at the time and there was no great call for an architectural draftsman my age. I met up with an old friend, who helped me find some part-time work at his office, which covered some of my expenses, but after a few months I came back to Vilnius, where things were really taking off. Just the same, I enjoyed reconnecting with Seattle after so many years away. Even caught a Sonics game, shortly before they packed their bags and moved to Oklahoma City.
We went back on a family vacation in the summer of 2008. Things were looking pretty good back then. I wasn't paying too close attention to the early warning signs. We had several big projects and it seemed like we were set for the next five years. We traveled the country in style, not worrying too much about costs. It was the first visit for our youngest daughter to America, so we wanted her to have a great time, capping it off with Disneyland in Anaheim.
Probably our best moment was the time we spent in New York. My son was playing guitar, so I took him to Rudy's to pick out an electric guitar of his choice. Rudy was there that day and showed my teenage son around. They finally settled on a Epiphone as the one best suited to his musical tastes and within my budget. It was a beautiful wood grain model like the Casino that John Lennon used. Adakras was very proud of that guitar and got a picture with Rudy to take home with him. We also caught Wicked at the Gershwin Theater, which we all enjoyed very much.
Obama was running for president, so I couldn't help get a picture with his cardboard likeness and buy a t-shirt, hoping very much that things would get better after 8 years of Bush. Little did I imagine they would get demonstrably worse 8 years later under Trump. Anyway, my wife tells me to remember the good moments, not the bad ones.
Nevertheless, I just can't figure out where things went wrong. The country appeared to be doing great in 2016. We were even thinking of heading back for another vacation as our youngest daughter didn't remember much of the previous trip. The summer came and went and we said next year, only to then find it had become the United States of Trump. My sister, who lives in Austin, was telling me how appalling it had become. She just couldn't believe it. Neither could I.
I suppose a lot of it had to do with all the animosity directed toward Hillary. I was not a Clinton fan myself but it was easy enough for me to hold my nose and vote for her. For others, it was not so easy, even if they couldn't stand Trump, like a couple of my liberal friends on facebook. This just shows you the devil you know is better than the one you don't know.
Americans really haven't been able to shake Trump despite a full year since the election. The Kenosha trial shows just how ingrained Trumpism is in American city when a 17-year old kid can claim self-defense in killing two unarmed man at a rally he had no business attending. I watch the Ahmaud Arbery trial with dread, hoping these white supremacists don't similarly get away with murder.
It reminds me of the time I first took my family cross country in 1999. We stopped at a lodge of shingle-covered cabins just outside Crater Lake National Park in northern California. My wife was shocked when we entered the general store. Behind the clerk was an array of firearms. I told Daina this is hunting country so not to worry. The guy asked where we were from. I said Lithuania, and his next question was what were the gun laws in our country? She only grew more anxious but I made some small talk. He was more curious in the currency, so I gave him a 10-Lita bill to add to his collection. I asked if there was any restaurant around. He said no, but there were pizzas in the freezer or he could ask his wife to whip something up. We took the pizzas. I told Daina that for the most part these people are harmless. You just can't show any fear. Daina said she didn't sleep at all that night. Crater Lake was beautiful the next day. There was snow around the rim. The water an icy blue. The kids loved it.
But, you never know what can happen to you on a seemingly innocent run, as was the case with Ahmaud Arbery. My wife shudders when hearing these stories. She imagines our own son, who is not afraid to stand his ground.
Mostly what I don't like is the apathy of Democrats who don't get what they want. Biden certainly wasn't my first choice, or even my second or third choice, but I stand by him because he is trying to do right. He wants to bring the country back together. The progressives in the party don't seem to understand that. Rather than pass a bipartisan infrastructure bill over the summer, they allowed it drag well past an important election in November, undermining the Democrats' chances in Virginia. All it takes is a little gap for the Republicans to sneak and take over a state, making it very difficult for the Democrats to reclaim it the next time around. Soon, they pass voter restriction laws, redistrict the state, and it is like trying to move an enormous boulder up the hill. Just look at what happened to Wisconsin.
This was a traditional Democratic state for many years. Union labor. Yet, somehow Scott Walker managed to worm his way into the governor's office in 2011, the Republicans took over the state legislature, and next thing you know it is a right-to-work state. Decades of job security and social programs go down the toilet. Even though a Democrat was able to wrest back the governor's office in 2019, the legislature still remains Republican thanks to redistricting. You can never grow complacent.
You have to be smart. You have to think long term. Stephen Breyer refuses to retire from the Supreme Court despite the very real possibility the Republicans could regain the Senate in 2022. At 83, he is unlikely to serve much longer. No way Mitch would ever approve a Democratic choice for the bench. Yet, no pressure is being brought to bear on Breyer to step down and allow Biden to nominate a younger judge that would serve through future Republican senates. In many ways, Democrats are their own worst enemy, holding to high-minded ideals rather than adopting a more Machiavellian approach to government.
Anyway, there is nothing I can do about it. I quit arguing on facebook because any time I do my conservative friends remind me how long I have lived overseas, as if I have no "horse in the race," as one of them put it. Actually, I do, I remind them. I can still vote. My official residence remains Seattle, Washington. Whatever economic woes befall America affect us over here, so I want someone who isn't going to burn everything down.
At some point, I would like my kids to spend time in America, if they so choose. Goda certainly enjoyed it the short time she was there. I think Akvilė would too, now that she is in her 20s. My how time flies! I also like keeping the option open for us to return to the US, but that depends on how far our currency goes.
I retain mostly positive memories. I just hope that Americans get through this volatile time and find some sense of relative peace and security. I'm pulling for Joe, hoping he gets over the hump and things start looking better for him in 2022. It will go a long way toward the Democrats holding onto their razor thin hold of Congress and continue to "build back better." The worst thing we can do is fall into a downward spiral of despair. This just sets the stage for a triumphant return of Trumpism, which is the last thing the US or the world needs right now.
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