We were at Parc Guell, and for a brief moment got lost in the grotto, so to speak. My wife and I are both architects, so we were looking closely at how Gaudi pulled off all these remarkable details. They seemed so simple, yet so complex. Next thing we know the kids are gone. We had thought we just lost sight of them, but we couldn't find them anywhere. The park wasn't that big, so we figured they found a bathroom, or were just somehow eluding us unintentionally. At last I saw our little boy sticking his head out from a round corner of the porter's lodge. He tried to duck back quickly, but the little ruse was over.
We were both angry, my wife moreso than me, as it frightened the hell out of her. How were we going to find our kids in this enormous city had someone kidnapped them? I tend to look at such situations from the reverse angle, thinking they had just wandered off. Our daughter, 11 at the time, simply had had enough and for that matter, so had our 5 year-old son. It was hot and all these buildings had become boring. After we regained control of our emotions, we had ice cream and thought of something more fun to do for the rest of the day.
As Leda (impeccably played by Olivia Coleman) said, children are an enormous responsibility. I don't think anyone is ever really ready for children. It's a learning process - painful, fun, annoying and rewarding all at the same time. I remember falling asleep looking after our second daughter, who was 6 or 8 months old at the time. I had morning duty, which was usually around 4 am when she woke up, made her some baby cereal, and sat with her on the living room carpet. I just couldn't hold my eyes open one morning. She tugged at me and then found something else to play with. I woke to see that somehow she had moved from one spot to another seemingly by levitation, as she wasn't a crawler. Turned out she just shimmied her way about the floor on her bottom. Looking after her sucked all the energy out of me, as it did my wife, plus we had the other two kids to think about, although our oldest daughter was far more helpful at this point.
Trips were always the most difficult because our children are staggered 6 years apart. What one liked, the other didn't. Even as they grew older, the differences strongly came into play. The one time it all seemed to come together was in Greece. We let our oldest daughter arrange the trip. She was 25 at that point, picking out the islands she wanted to go to, but she consulted us as well, so that it was a mutual choice. We flew into Kos, took the ferry to Santorini, then to Paros, and retraced this route back to Kos. The best moments were on Paros, as there was no pressure. We had rented a little cabin on the north side of the island, about a two-hour bus ride from the port, and just laid back and enjoyed the beautiful beach and slightly ruffled surf for three sun-soaked days. Our son, who very rarely eats fish, couldn't get enough of the fresh seafood. Everyone was happy and that trip plays warmly on my mind as I write.
It was different for Leda. Greece didn't turn out to be as poetic as she imagined. An annoying foghorn, an ugly cicada and large Greek-American family foiled her attempts at solitude and peace, ultimately leading her to re-examine her difficult time being a mother, played out in flashbacks with the remarkable Jessie Buckley as her younger self. I was amazed how a doll could create so much tension. At times, the doll seemed to have a life of its own. However, Maggie Gyllenhaal avoided all the typical scenarios, focusing in on Leda's own inner turmoil in a beautifully sensitive way.
My wife and I had conflicting interpretations of the film but found ourselves both looking back at our own parenting. I don't think there is any such thing as natural parents. Some adults are better at it than others, but you would be hard pressed to find perfect parents. We all have those selfish impulses, wanting time for ourselves, when so little time is available. I remember I cherished those moments. So happy to not have to think of the kids for that little while. But then we don't really ever stop thinking about them, even when they're grown.
I like when a movie sends you off into little reveries like this. So few do these days. There are all these sinister turns of events that keep you too focused on the unwinding plot, as was the case with Woman in the Window, making it into a ridiculous murder mystery rather than a woman confronting her own demons. Ms. Gyllenhaal showed how you could create tension without resorting to the old Hollywood tropes, welcoming the viewer into her film, feeling those moments because they seemed so real, and evoking one's own memories of what it is like to be a parent.
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